Sunday, March 31, 2013

Sidney Crosby Got His Teeth Knocked Out. Is He Now a Little Tougher?


Last night, Sidney Crosby took a deflected slapshot in the mouth. Seeing the replay on video – which I have several times. Why? I don’t really know – is pretty vivid. You can actually see several of his teeth fly out after initial contact.


Many Crosby detractors who dislike the NHL’s leading scorer for his griping dialogue with referees during games may have found irony in what happened. When you think about it, it is kind of funny when you consider how much he complains, but at the same time, you gotta feel for the guy.



There is no real analogy to accurately describe what a slapshot to the face feels like. A slapshot to the face feels a lot like a slapshot to the face. It’s a 6 ounce puck made of vulcanized rubber traveling at anywhere between 80-100 mph. Now I’m no scientist so I don’t know how to calculate the force of that. Nor am I a dental surgeon so I can’t speculate on the implications that a trauma of that magnitude can have on the teeth, jaw, lips, pain threshold, and overall ego, but I can say with absolute certainty, that it probably hurt quite a bit.

In the past Crosby has been criticized for being ‘soft’ – easy to agitate, aggravate, and entice into awkward and embarrassing peewee skirmishes, as he throws wild punches with his gloves on, but I have to admit, he took that shot to the face pretty well.



I don’t know what you would expect someone to do once a 100 mph puck hits you in the mouth. I imagine that my idol – the most interesting man in the world from the Dos Equis commercials – would possibly catch the puck in between his lips, or maybe even take the shot on the chin, and then spit out his teeth as if he was playing bass for KISS.



Sidney Crosby didn’t quite invoke the image of hockey’s ultimate tough guy - an honour held by Rich Trochett who fractured his jaw in a game in 1992, stayed on his feet, put one of those funny jaw masks on his helmet and came back to score two goals - but he didn’t overdramatize the incident like many would have expected. He did flail his head back - I would imagine from the force of the shot – and throw off his gloves into separate corners of the rink, but he stayed on the ice for only a short time, covered his bleeding mouth with a towel, and calmly skated off with little help. To me, that composed reaction is fairly commendable after a slapshot to the face. Is he a little tougher for getting his teeth knocked and getting back up without a stretcher? Yes. Yes he is.

Now, if he wants to fight with gloves still intact and his fists twice the size, albeit much softer, that’s ok. So Sid, you keep those Reeboks on and just swing away, buddy, you swing away. 


Friday, March 29, 2013

Pep Guardiola Going to Manage Bayern Munich is a Little Bit of A Cop-Out


After a year of speculation and rumours, Pep Guardiola decided to join Bavarian beer kings, Bayern Munich. Most experts, and sources close to the Catalan, predicted that he would take the helm for one of the English Premier League’s powerhouses – mainly Machester City or Chelsea. It’s a shame he didn’t do so.



I was really looking forward to how Pep would fare in the world’s most competitive league. His trophy haul while with Barca is very impressive, but a coach with his pedigree and track record needs to place himself against the best in order to substantiate his ability and managerial proficiency.

He collected a staggering 14 trophies during his four years in charge with Barcelona. That’s quite an accomplishment, but winning with the team he had, the resources he possessed to acquire players, and a strong football philosophy that had been in place for decades, wasn’t the most challenging feat in the football world.



Guardiola’s predecessor, Frank Rijkaard, managed 8 tropies in five years with the club after inheriting a weak team rife with internal conflict. Although Rijkaard’s CV is not as striking as Guardiola’s (even though his hair certainly is), Pep walked onto an established team that had experienced success with notable superstars that already included Messi, Eto’o, Xavi, Iniesta, and Puyols, to name a few. Not to take anything away from what Pep accomplished, but he didn’t exactly take Barcelona from the B Division to become the global force that they are today – they were pretty good when he got there. He did however turn Barcelona into arguably one of the best club teams ever in the 2010-2011 season. He did this with a great core of players that were already present upon his arrival, but with his keen acquisition of other footballers and astute tactics, they received the boost needed to become extraordinary. Essentially, my disappointment in his decision is rooted in the belief that the ingredients to create a dynasty with Barcelona were well in place before his arrival to the senior team. Would he be able to do the same at another club that plays in a more competitive league?



While at Barcelona, Guardiola won the league Championship three times, but in its present state, La Liga has been a two horse race between Barcelona and Real Madrid for some time now. Outside the two Spanish giants, Valencia is the most recent team to accomplish the feat back in 2004. Winning the championship is still very difficult, but not as challenging when you only have to worry about beating one team to the top.



The disparity in Germany’s Bundesliga, and Guardiola’s future surroundings are not so imbalanced. The Germans have a little more opposition in their competition, however, Bayern have just invested 70 million euros on new players awaiting Pep’s arrival. They also finished in second last year and already have quite an imposing team with a strong contingent of young German talent, which they displayed this year in the Champions League with the walloping they gave to my beloved Arsenal. So really, Pep Guardiola is walking into another great set-up, rich with resources and talent, ready to start adding more trophies to his dossier right after the first kick-off of the season, and it’s disappointing; disappointing because a manager of his supposed brilliance belongs in England.

The English Premier League is currently the fastest, most entertaining, most glamorous, most popular, and most competitive league in the world – disregarding UEFA and FIFA’s illogical rankings and irrational classification system. Like any other professional league, there are always favourites, but it is the only football league in the world where five or six teams have a legitimate chance of winning it all by the end of season. Moreover, when you must play ten to twelve games a year against opponents of equal caliber, a title or competition is just that much harder to win - that’s not taking into account the quality of the other English clubs who when fared against their mid to low table counterparts around Europe, have much more quality and are simply better.

I wanted to see how Guardiola would have performed in that type of fierce competition and parity. I wanted to see if he could achieve the levels of greatness he did with his cherished Barcelona. I wanted to see if his managerial ingenuity could work outside the confines of possession based football that his team and tactics were geared towards. Could he adapt? Could he bring ‘his’ football to England and succeed? Unfortunately we won’t know until he actually gathers the courage and goes to England. Sure he might win the treble with Bayern – a Champion’s League, the Bundesliga, and the German Cup, but will it mean much? Not to me.



Throughout his time as a manager in Spain, Guardiola was always compared to Jose Mourinho and, more times than not, was dubbed the better coach. Mourinho however, has won everything there is to win in Portugal, Italy, England, and Spain. The jewels missing from his crowns are absent Champions League trophies with Chelsea, and currently with Real Madrid - a jewel which may very well come this season. Mourinho has moved from country to country, each with a unique style of play and differing football philosophies. He has won in every country; he has accepted a significant challenge in every country. Can Guardiola say the same?    

He is a great manager, there is no question. But how great he is will only be measured if he can win the Premiership and Champions League with an English club.  Until then, his ability, his legacy, will be marred with skepticism and doubt.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Why Don't Goalies Utilize the Poke Check More During Shootouts?


After watching numerous shootouts this year and not witnessing even one being attempted, I can’t help but wonder, why goalies don’t poke check during shootouts more often.



Whether the shooter comes in with speed or takes his time, it seems like a poke check is the last thing they expect. In fact, it appears as though shooters have all the time in the world, and they know it. In many cases, it’s not rare to see a shooter stickhandle all the way into the blue ice of the crease. It’s ridiculous. Why do goalies insist on giving shooters that much time? Why do goalies give shooters that much space? Are they excessively focused on squaring their shoulders to the puck? Are they negligently fixated on sound positioning?



If I were a goalie, I think I’d attempt a poke check on every shootout, every shooter, like a drunk and angry Ron Hextall (he may not have been drunk, but he did look angry a lot).



Now I’m no professional by any means. I played a lot of hockey but I lacked the size, speed, power, and general skill that it takes to achieve a position in the professional ranks, but to me, a poke check is the perfect element of surprise, and it seems that players never expect it anymore, because it’s never attempted. I realize that if I did it for every shooter in every shootout, the element of surprise would diminish and I may end up the worst and, possibly stupidest goalie out there, but then the mind games would begin. 



Imagine a goalie had a high percentage of poke check attempts in shootouts. In this day and age of increased study and significance of analytics, it would be much harder for opposing players to quickly strategize and mentally prepare in the precious moments before being sent out for the one on one. Is he going to poke check me or isn’t he? Shooters may wait and judge based on instant placement and goalie movement, but the seed of doubt and spontaneity has already been placed deep in their mind, paralyzing them with fear, uncertainty, doubt. Ok, maybe it’s not that profound and confounding, but a successful poke check is a glorious a sight. It should be utilized more often and I think it would lead to desired results. It might also lead to undesired results where the goalie is left looking like an idiot, but at least a variation on the norm would emerge, affecting the shooters to come and maybe making them a little more anxious as the collect the puck at centre.



Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Why do NHL Linesmen Refuse to Drop the Puck?


I don’t know what their problem is. Is it an inferiority complex? Are they simply obsessed with exercising the only other power they have allotted to them that doesn’t involve whistling an offside or icing? Is it their revenge for having the unfortunate responsibility of breaking up fights while the referees get to enjoy the scrap with the fans and the other players? 



Do they hate every centre in the league and want to ridicule them by throwing them out of every possible faceoff? Or do they suffer from some kind of delusion wherein they see themselves as the guardians of the fair and virtuous faceoff?

Whatever the reason, I hate it and it’s become ridiculous. I realize that in actuality, their slight delays only defer a restart by seconds, but I’m an impatient person. I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I just want them to drop the puck. I don’t care if whoever’s taking the faceoff is cheating. I don’t even care if it leads to a goal against my team. It’s simple. I just want to watch more hockey. It’s an incredible game based on speed, power, finesse, and the endlessly quick transition of offense to defence. The linesmen of all people should not insist on slowing down the game, but they do, and their ridiculous displays infuriate me. That’s what happens. I get really angry in a matter of seconds, which then turns into a profound sadness. I silently plead with them – along with everyone else watching the game, or any other NHL game this shortened season - to drop the puck. 



The worst part is that I think they know what they’re doing…and they love it. They love that they have that power – the power to make people wait; the power to determine when a game will be restarted based on their own interpretations of stick and body placement; and lastly, the power to simply raise a hand and banish a player from the faceoff circle; that’s what they do. They don’t even say anything to the player. They just raise their hand. That’s rude and archaic. What is this, ancient Rome? They could at least have the decency to tell the player, according to their quick evaluation, the player was not abiding by the illogical and unnecessary faceoff rules, and therefore must forfeit his position to a teammate. Instead, they perform this senseless task with a vexing smugness and a false sense of authority.

After all the players do for them, such as purposely aiming clearance attempts away from them or selflessly flipping the puck up to them after an icing so they don’t have to awkwardly bend over and pick it up, I think they should be a little more humble and quick. 



If not for me, then they should do it for the players who make their job just that much easier, allowing them to earn the $72,000 - $162,000 they make a year without having to bend over for pucks. That’s how much they make. I just looked it up. You know what? If they started dropping the puck a little quicker I wouldn’t even care. I wouldn’t even care if they made $500,000 a year, as long as they ended this illogical and irritating nonsense and just dropped the puck. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. However, I can’t see them changing too soon, so I might have to become a fan of the Swedish Elite League. Who am I kidding? NHL linesmen could take forever and I’d still never watch the Swedish Elite League.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Why Diego Maradona is the Best Footballer Ever...and Pele is a Close Second


The argument for the best footballer ever, unless you’re Dutch and have a big retroactive man crush on Johan Cruyff, always resides in a debate between Diego Maradona and Pele - otherwise known as Edison Arantes de Nascimento, or as I like to call him, Crestfield’s King of the Kitchen (Simpsons fans will get the reference – season 9 episode 5). When all the basic facts are considered, there really is no debate at all and the result is a strong desire to wear Napoli blue and grow a curly afro.



If you take Maradona and Pele’s statistics into account, the argument for best ever can become a little clouded and misleading - almost as if Darth Vader had his hand around your shoulder while reading this.



Throughout his career, Pele scored a total of 620 goals in 661 appearances at club level, or 0.94 goals a game. At the international level for Brazil, Pele scored 77 goals in 92 games, or 0.84 goals a game. When compared to Maradona’s own tallies, the results seem a little mediocre. For his various clubs, Maradona managed 258 goals in 492 appearances (0.52 goals a game) and only 34 goals for his footballing nation – Argentina – in 91 games (0.37).  In direct comparison, the statistics are a little staggering, but to acquire a clear and unbiased picture that is not influenced by simple and lifeless data, where these goals were scored, how they were scored, and who they came from must also be measured. 

Pele soldiered out his career in Brazil, plying his trade quite loyally with the same team for 18 years, wearing the black and white prison stripes of Santos for nearly two decades.



With them he scored countless goals, won several accolades, and took the Brazilian side to continental glory. From there he came out of retirement for the bright lights of New York, and for the fierce competition of the North American Soccer League – a league so successful it collapsed because it was too awesome for anyone to witness. In all seriousness, it failed due to financial inadequacy because nobody went to the games or cared, probably because everyone was too busy dancing in discos or trying to find taller platform shoes. 



Maradona on the other hand moved to Europe quite early in his professional career and experienced immense success in two of the most competitive and talent-laden leagues of that time. Though he featured for Barcelona for only two years and was riddled with injuries and various conflicts involving club officials, opposing players, fans, and probably anyone that was willing to listen to his crazy arguments and complaints, he still managed 38 goals in 58 games and two titles.



He later joined Napoli (the southern Italian frontier where driving becomes much more dangerous and life threatening and the hand gestures get increasingly more erratic and emotive). While at Napoli, Maradona arguably enjoyed the apex of his exploits, winning 4 competitions, which included leading the Italian side to European triumph in the UEFA cup in 1989. During his time there, he was a perennial offensive threat and dominant player in a league most noted for its defensive and tactical prowess.

While nothing should be taken away from Pele, his accomplishments came in a league that simply cannot be likened with the competition of its European equivalents. While Brazilians are very good at football, some would say the best in the world, their league does not offer the same level of opposition as those of the European footballing elite. Essentially, he played in a lesser competitive league, while the best of his discipline were concentrated in the much more contested leagues of Europe. His opposing defenders were easier to beat, his passes more likely to be successful, and his goals easier to score.

Maradona matured and became the player he is remembered as, in Spain and Italy where the competition was always fierce. There he quickly pronounced himself as the best in the world amongst the best. In his prime, there was no argument that he was the most dominant player on the planet, and he did it against the elite – the best tacticians, the best defenders, the best goalkeepers.

A classic argument in Pele’s favour, is that the Brazilian won more world cups and scored more goals with his national side. While it’s true that he won 3 world cups to Maradona’s 1, Pele was really only a part of two of those. He was injured after the first game of one of those tournaments, and did not return to play (1962 World Cup in Chile). Most importantly, Pele was always surrounded with very strong teammates. Although he was a key figure in Brazil’s World Cup victories, he did not do it alone. His cohorts also went on to become legends and were some of the best in the world at that time. Players like Garrincha, Vava, Didi, Rivelino, Jairzinho, etc. became household names (as long as your household was somewhere in Sao Paulo, Rio, or anywhere else in Brazil). The point is, he played exceptionally, but he had many exceptional players to help him.

Maradona did not score as many goals for Argentina as Pele did for Brazil. Neither did he win as many world cups. He did however, lead a very weak team that was not expected for great things to the title. In 1986 in Mexico, Diego Maradona cemented his place in history – a place in history he would later tarnish with his rampant cocaine use and paranoid and aggressive rants about penises at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa (see video here) – as a legend. Almost single handedly, he captained a weak Argentinian squad to become champions of the world, materializing into the most dominant player of the tournament with mesmerizing performances and displays that the world still remembers today. He even scored a goal with his hand and fooled everyone in the process. You had to love his devil may care, nonchalant, bad boy attitude. 



If it were Pele that scored with his hands, he probably would have apologized to the referee, the fans, the opposing team, and gone into the referees pocket and given himself a red card. Nobody really likes that loyal, honest, commercially friendly, and extremely marketable persona. People want to see a bad boy that says and does the things they would never dare to do and eventually self implodes in a vicious spiral of self destruction and ignorance brought on by a quick acquisition of wealth, power, adoration, and an inflated ego. That alone makes him better than Pele, but if that’s not enough, Maradona even managed to take a weaker Argentina to the final again in the World Cup in Italy in 1990, only to lose by a questionable penalty for West Germany in the final.

Thus, due to the superior competition he faced while achieving great feats and leading mediocre Argentinian teams to the title and final of successive World Cups with incredible exhibitions of football and individual dominance, Maradona is undeniably the best footballer ever. It took me more than a thousand words to say it. It took him 23, and with more elegance, arrogance, and flair than I could ever manage:

“There would be no debate about who was the best footballer the world had ever seen – me or Pele. Everyone would say me.”

-       Diego Maradona





Another one I quite enjoyed was:

“My mother thinks I am the best, and I was raised to always believe what my mother says.”

-       Diego Maradona




Cleary this is the attitude, self-confidence, and candid rhetoric, only the best can provide. Enough said.