I don’t know what their problem is. Is it an inferiority
complex? Are they simply obsessed with exercising the only other power they
have allotted to them that doesn’t involve whistling an offside or icing? Is it
their revenge for having the unfortunate responsibility of breaking up fights
while the referees get to enjoy the scrap with the fans and the other players?
Do they hate every centre in the league and want to ridicule them by throwing
them out of every possible faceoff? Or do they suffer from some kind of
delusion wherein they see themselves as the guardians of the fair and virtuous
faceoff?
Whatever the reason, I hate it and it’s become ridiculous. I
realize that in actuality, their slight delays only defer a restart by seconds,
but I’m an impatient person. I don’t think I’m asking for too much. I just want
them to drop the puck. I don’t care if whoever’s taking the faceoff is
cheating. I don’t even care if it leads to a goal against my team. It’s simple.
I just want to watch more hockey. It’s an incredible game based on speed,
power, finesse, and the endlessly quick transition of offense to defence. The
linesmen of all people should not insist on slowing down the game, but they do,
and their ridiculous displays infuriate me. That’s what happens. I get really
angry in a matter of seconds, which then turns into a profound sadness. I
silently plead with them – along with everyone else watching the game, or any
other NHL game this shortened season - to drop the puck.
The worst part is that I think they know what they’re doing…and
they love it. They love that they have that power – the power to make people
wait; the power to determine when a game will be restarted based on their own
interpretations of stick and body placement; and lastly, the power to simply
raise a hand and banish a player from the faceoff circle; that’s what they do.
They don’t even say anything to the player. They just raise their hand. That’s
rude and archaic. What is this, ancient Rome? They could at least have the
decency to tell the player, according to their quick evaluation, the player was
not abiding by the illogical and unnecessary faceoff rules, and therefore must
forfeit his position to a teammate. Instead, they perform this senseless task
with a vexing smugness and a false sense of authority.
After all the players do for them, such as purposely aiming
clearance attempts away from them or selflessly flipping the puck up to them
after an icing so they don’t have to awkwardly bend over and pick it up, I
think they should be a little more humble and quick.
If not for me, then they
should do it for the players who make their job just that much easier, allowing
them to earn the $72,000 - $162,000 they make a year without having to bend
over for pucks. That’s how much they make. I just looked it up. You know what?
If they started dropping the puck a little quicker I wouldn’t even care. I
wouldn’t even care if they made $500,000 a year, as long as they ended this
illogical and irritating nonsense and just dropped the puck. I don’t think it’s
too much to ask. However, I can’t see them changing too soon, so I might have
to become a fan of the Swedish Elite League. Who am I kidding? NHL linesmen
could take forever and I’d still never watch the Swedish Elite League.
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