Watching Robin Van Persie Score a Hat Trick, the Best Goal of the Year, and Win the English Premiership With Manchester United Was the Equivalent to Being Given a Wet Willy and Then Punched in the Face

On April 22^nd, Robin Van Persie won his first title with Manchester United in a 3-0 win over Aston Villa at Old Trafford. He scored all three goals in the game, including an exquisite long-range volley that will feature in countless Youtube videos for years to come and undoubtedly be heralded as the goal of the season.

After the final whistle had been blown, Van Persie joyously celebrated along with his teammates, lifting the coveted EPL trophy for the first time in his career, and parading around the pitch proudly brandishing a black and red scarf that looked like it was knit in hell.

For Arsenal fans, this was the equivalent of being kicked in the sternum, punched in the stomach, slapped in the face with a wet hand, and then having old leftover food thrown at you while writhing on the ground in pain and humiliation.                                        

When Arsene Wenger sold Arsenal’s best player to rivals Manchester United in the summer of 2012, the initial assessment was that the ‘smarter than thou’ Frenchman had essentially conceded defeat and handed Man U the title.

The initial assessment was correct.

In selling Robin Van Persie, Wenger gave the red devils the EPL’s best striker to an already formidable team, and pretty much laid out a red carpet to Monday’s bullshit party in Manchester.

What has made Van Persie’s achievement with Man U even more difficult for the Gunners faithful, has been his impeccable performance throughout the year.

Van Persie has arguably played the best season of his career. He leads the Premiership in scoring and has been an offensive juggernaut for Man U, not only racking up goals with incredible technique, talent, and skill, but also setting them up beautifully and efficiently.

His simple presence on the roster instilled an amplified level of confidence in the whole team, helping them perform above what was originally expected of them this season. The best simply make those around them better. You take the best player in any league and put them on a good team, naturally everyone will believe they are initially better without even having played their first game.

Moreover, his superb movement and ability to read the game receives enhanced attention from all opposing defenders, opening space for everyone else to be successful. Ask anyone who played with him at Arsenal, I’m sure they will sourly tell you that with Robin on the team, there was much more room and time to run out of ideas before you pass it back to Per Matersacker and the defense play keep away and pose no offensive threat on their opponents while Wenger spills unmarked bottled water all over that hideous caterpillar jacket he wears, in exasperation.

Van Persie’s success also burns with the sting of a pissed off bee because Arsenal supporters were incredibly patient with him, and just as their patience was being rewarded with remarkable results, he was sold to the highest bidder.

In 8 seasons with the Gunners, Van Persie averaged 24 games a season, appearing in all games just once – his last year with Arsenal. Throughout his tenure with the North London club, Van Persie was oft injured and unavailable due to his long list of ailments. He was always exceptionally talented and played extremely well, it’s just that, he didn’t play that often. Yet fans waited anxiously and knew that when he stayed healthy he would show them their faith and allegiance was not in vein.

That year came, and he played a brand of football for the Gunners that hasn’t been seen from a striker since Theirry Henry left for the sunny beaches of Catalonia. He scored astounding goals, was a true leader, gave fans a new hope of a possible turnaround of fortunes, and then he left.

He joined a painfully long list of Arsenal players who were developed with patience and precision, played incredibly well once matured, and then went on to win silverware with teams with deeper pockets, or at least, more determination than Wenger and the crack staff of Arsenal’s board and ownership have shown.

Fundamentally, I am bitter that Van Persie won with another team, but I am not angry at him because he left. Football is a business like any other. Van Persie saw an opportunity to be successful with another organization and make more money. Anybody in a similar position in any other business would do the same. However if you’re an Arsenal supporter, it stings, and knowing Wenger and his associates’ brand of self-sufficiency and economics, their response will most likely be more frugality in the transfer market, or to once again, sell their best player this past season.

It doesn’t make sense, does it? Well neither does selling your best asset to your rivals and not replacing them.